For those of you who want to spend time working on your marriage, other than just Sunday mornings, here are some great resources I'd recommend:

1) Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman (sorry to the dudes 'cause the book color is purple)

2) His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley

3) Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, by Les and Leslie Parrott

4) Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas

5) The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman (Probably my favorite and the most helpful of all these books)

6) Love Map Game (Okay, now you're going to think I'm cheesy.  However, this is a great place to start if you're at a dead end in having conversations w/ the person you're married to.

7) This past fall, I co-led a guys growth group called, "I Want to be a Better Husband".  Here are some free pdf files of the homework we had in the group.  These ideas should be a catalyst for how to treat your wife or husband!

Week 1          Week 2          Week 3            Week 4

8) Need counseling?  Here are two local centers we recommend: Love Light Christian Counseling & Wellspring Counseling Center

On February 21st, we're going to be doing a live interview w/ Ted & Gayle Haggard, former pastors of the 14,000 member New Life Church in Colorado Springs.  Recently, they've been on Oprah, The View, Larry King Live, etc. sharing the story of how their marriage survived Ted's very publicized affair w/ a male prostitute.

So why are we doing this?

1) To communicate that NOBODY is beyond God's grace and forgiveness!

2) To give hope to couples who feel their marriage is beyond repair!

3) To proactively communicate that you don't have to hide from your sins or live in ongoing shame.  Christianity, at it's core, is a message of grace, hope, healing and forgiveness.

4) To help those who've been affected by an affair learn that it is possible for healing to take place.

5) To help the church learn that we've got the power to restore someone who fails or condemn them to a life of shame.

In closing, here is a brief video of the Haggards on Larry King Live (click here)

1) We launched Great Lakes Church on the 2nd Sunday of February 2009.   We're getting close to our one year anniversary!!!


2) Our "I Want a New Marriage" series has been a lot of fun.  This past Sunday we talked about how almost every argument and fight is rooted in this very simple truth: We're mad 'cause we're not getting our own way! (James 4:1-3)

Here are some tips to make sure that you don't kill each other during a fight:

a. The way you treat each other when you're NOT fighting is the most important factor for determining the length, intensity and outcome of your actual fights.

b. It's always best to discuss things ASAP! (Ephesians 4:26-27)

c. Start the fight off right! (The words, tone of voice and accusations we make in the first 3 minutes of the fight will determine the outcome almost every time)

d. Fight about the actual issue.  (Don't bring up the past or go off on random tangents)

e. Focus on the situation or behavior, not the person!  (There is a huge difference between a criticism and a complaint)


3) If you want to continue to focus on your marriage after this series is done, you really need to join a Growth Group that focuses on marriage.  I highly suggest the "Love and Respect" (Tues 02) or "Marriage Makeover" (Mon 02) Growth Groups .  You can access our Growth Groups sign up page by clicking here.
 

4) Within the next week, I'll be blogging about why we've chosen to have a "live" interview w/ Ted & Gayle Haggard (Feb 21st) and what we hope to accomplish.  I just finished reading Gayle's book, "Why I Stayed" and it is probably the best book I've read on the importance of establishing a culture of grace, hope, healing and forgiveness.

Here are 3 big changes that have happened or are happening very soon:

1) We opened another "video venue" this weekend!  At this time, we're using it as a "Parents Viewing Auditorium" for those who choose to keep their children (8 years and under) with them in the adult service.  I heard great feedback from yesterday and really appreciate parents helping us keep our other two auditoriums free of the distractions that often come w/ kids in the room.

2) By Easter, we will have a full band in the 1st "video venue" auditorium.  It will still be the "not as loud" option, but it will no longer just be an acoustic guitar.  By the way, if you play the bass or guitar and would like to try out for the band, please email Tony Peterson at tony@greatlakeschurch.com  (As I mentioned yesterday, if you play the oboe, clarinet, trombone or flute... we're proud of you, but there is no need to tryout for the band).

3) We will be hiring a full-time kids director before Easter!  We are super excited about this.  Currently, we have over 200 kids who show up on the weekends.

Ok, if you're confused about the different auditoriums, here is a summary: Auditorium 1 (Live venue w/ full band); Auditorium 2 (Video venue teaching w/ a full live band by Easter); Auditorium 3 (Parents Viewing Auditorium for those who keep their children with them.  This is all on video).

By the way, yesterday I had about 15 people ask me if the story about my response email to a member of our community who has sent me multiple discouraging emails was true.  The answer is "yes".  I assure you that I never make up stories.

Dave


PS - Here is a picture of "The Spite House" w/ the background cut out.  What an amazing story!

 

1) Life never slows down!!! 

2) This Sunday, I'll be taking 5 minutes at each of our gatherings (9 and 10:30 am) to share with you the next steps for Great Lakes Church (and no, it's not buying a building), but some pretty exciting stuff is right around the corner.

3) If you haven't signed up for a Growth Group yet, better do it soon!  They're filling up fast. (I'm not exaggerating)

4) On Sunday, we'll be talking about how to have conflict w/o killing the person you're married to.  This could have saved OJ Simpson a lot of headaches (sorry, that was a bad attempt at humor).

5) On another note, here are just a few comments we received back from guests this past Sunday.  Pretty motivating stuff!

"This was the first time I had been to a service in a theater, but it surprisingly wasn't that scary."

"Everyone was so friendly, from the person waving to us as we drove in, to the woman who brought an umbrella to us so we got a little out of the rain, and on and on.  So kind!"

"Put it this way, I'm actually looking forward to attending this Sunday!!!"

"Great programs for kids!  It allowed my husband and I to enjoy the service.  Thank you."
 
"My impression was a great one.  It was what I was looking for, but I didn't know it until I was there."

"My husband said right away that he would come back again!"

"WOW"!  That pretty much sums up this past Sunday.  Thanks to all of you who volunteer.  We were able to welcome over 100 first time guests and even had to open up a 3rd theater as an overflow room!!!

Here is a recap of our "Marriage Myths" talk:

Myth #1: Marriage CHANGES people.
Truth: Marriage REVEALS WHAT'S ALREADY IN PEOPLE!

This is because marriage is the first time in our life that we experience real stress, pressure or responsibility.  We find things in ourselves that we don't like and think marriage changed us.  No it didn't.  It just revealed what was in us all along.


Myth #2: The grass is greener ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Truth: The grass is greener WHERE YOU WATER IT!

What are you doing to water your marriage?  What kind of time and attention are you giving it?  Are you going on dates?  Do you occasionally read a book on marriage?  Are you connecting w/ your spouse regularly?


Myth #3: LOVE is a lot of work.
Truth: STAYING IN LOVE is a lot of work.

Love is easy.  That's why so many people fall in love.  Staying in love is a challenge.  Jesus addressed this challenge by helping us understand that love is supposed to be demonstrated through action (John 13:34).  Love is not a noun.  It's a verb.  How are you actively showing love in your marriage?

1) Congrats to Tony & Michelle Peterson on the birth of their baby girl... Claire Elaine Peterson!

2) I can't wait for Sunday.  I really believe that we'll see lots of healing in marriages throughout this series.

3) We're very aware of how crowded our auditoriums are getting at the 10:30 am gathering.  I promise that our leadership team has met multiple times about this and is currently working on a solution.

4) Here is the first "heads up" about a new change that is going to be implemented in a few weeks.  Starting the first Sunday of March, we will no longer be allowing kids under 6 years old in our adult auditorium (this may change to kids 5th grade and under).  The reason for this "blanket rule" is pretty simple... the more Great Lakes Church has grown, the more distractions we've had by kids.  After spending countless hours preparing a talk, setting up for our service, getting the music team in sync, etc... we want to make sure we present the best experience possible for adults AND kids.  That being said, if you don't currently leave your children in one of our kid's programs I'm asking that you begin doing so right away.  This is a HUGE help and will actually make more seats available in the adult auditoriums.

5) Please take at least 5 minutes today and join me in praying for Great Lakes Church... that we would continue to stay laser focused on making it easy for people to find and follow Jesus Christ!  The longer a church exists, the easier it is to be come distracted from this mission.  May God help us always remember that Great Lakes Church does not exist for "church people"!!!!  We are a church that exists for the 70% of people in our area who do not go to church.

Our teaching series, "I Want a New Marriage" kicks off this weekend!  I'm a big believer that a series like this has the potential to have a huge impact on both single and married people!   

One of the core beliefs behind this series is that the greatest thing we can give our kids is a healthy marriage.  The reason for this is that our marriage determines the personal security of our children and it's their personal security that allows them to say "no" to peer pressure and develop healthy relationships later on in life.

Anyone who is married will admit that it's a lot of work!  I mean... A LOT!  Marriage forces us to confront our immaturity and selfishness.  It calls us to an entirely new kind of selfless living.  It challenges us to focus on someone other than ourselves.

I love this quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "If you treat a person as they are, they will stay as they are.  But if you treat them as if they were what they ought to be and could be, they will become the bigger and better person."  This series is about learning how to treat the person we're married to in a way that brings out the best in them.

I'm totally stoked about this series!

Dave

PS - Here is the most recent flier that we mailed out to our community!

We use the phrase "Church for the Rest of Us" pretty regularly and on occasion I'm asked, "What does that mean"?

Simply put, we're trying to communicate that Great Lakes Church is a church for people who...

1) ...don't fit the mold
2) ...are tired of adjusting to other people's definitions of spirituality
3) ...aren't looking for something to be against
4) ...ask questions when politically correct answers about God don't match reality
5) ...often feel "left out" spiritually 'cause they lack church experience
6) ...choose to emphasize grace and forgiveness
7) ...aren't afraid to express doubts about God

Hope this brings clarity!  By the way, we are a non-denominational Christian church.